Where to Start with Your Wedding Guest List: The Ultimate Guide
Guest list got you feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone! Putting together a wedding guest list can be one of the trickiest parts of planning your big day. But don’t worry—we’re here to make it as simple and stress-free as possible.
From deciding who gets a plus-one to navigating tricky guest list etiquette, this guide will walk you through everything you need to know. By the end, you’ll have a guest list that feels just right for your wedding.
How to Divide Your Guest List
Traditionally, wedding guest lists are divided into three equal parts:
One-third for the bride’s family
One-third for the groom’s family
One-third for the couple’s friends
This method can help create balance and ensure that both families feel included, regardless of who is paying for the wedding.
That said, every wedding is unique. If you have a smaller venue or a tighter budget, adjust this guideline in a way that feels fair to you and your partner. The most important thing is to be clear about expectations with your families early on to avoid last-minute conflicts.
Who Gets a Plus-One?
Not everyone on your guest list needs a plus-one, but there are a few situations where offering one is a good idea:
Guests who are married
Guests who are engaged
Guests who live with their partner
Guests who are in a long-term relationship (Set a timeline that feels fair, such as one year, and apply it consistently.)
Bridal party members (It’s a nice gesture to allow them to bring a date.)
Guests who may not know anyone else at the wedding (Use your best judgment here.)
Keeping your plus-one policy consistent will make decision-making easier and avoid any hurt feelings.
Should You Have a B-List?
A B-list is a backup guest list for people you’d love to invite but might not have room for due to budget or venue constraints. If spots open up from declined RSVPs, you can send out invitations to your B-list guests.
However, B-lists can be tricky. You don’t want guests to feel like they were a second choice. If you do decide to have one, follow these steps:
Keep it a secret – No one needs to know they’re on the B-list!
Send your first round of invitations early – Mail them 10–12 weeks before your wedding.
Send B-list invitations discreetly – Once you receive declines, send invitations to your B-list around 8 weeks before the wedding.
A well-handled B-list can help you include more loved ones without overcommitting your budget or venue space.
Can You Have a Small Ceremony and a Large Reception?
Absolutely! Many couples opt for an intimate ceremony with only close family and friends, followed by a bigger reception for extended guests. The key is in the wording of your invitations. Instead of inviting guests to the ceremony, try:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the wedding reception following the marriage of their daughter...
For guests attending the ceremony, include an additional ceremony card in their invitation suite. This keeps everything clear and ensures no one feels left out.
How to Politely Say “Adults Only”
If you’re planning a child-free wedding, you’ll want to communicate it clearly but tactfully. Here are a few ways to do so:
Address the envelopes correctly – Only list the parents’ names, not the children’s.
Mention it on your wedding website – A note like, “While we love your little ones, this will be an adults-only celebration” sets the tone.
Use a subtle RSVP card message – Try adding: “We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor.” This makes it clear exactly how many people are invited.
Avoid wording like “No Kids Allowed,” which can come off as harsh. Instead, frame it as a thoughtful decision for your celebration.
Should You Include “And Guest” on Save the Dates?
Save the dates are more informal than invitations, so it’s not necessary to include “and guest” at this stage. Simply address the save the date to the primary guest. The formal invitation will provide all the details about plus-ones.
How to Prevent Uninvited Plus-Ones
If you have limited seating and need to be strict about guest numbers, communication is key:
Clearly address invitations – List each invited guest’s name on the envelope.
Mention it on your wedding website – A polite note like, “Due to limited space, we kindly ask that only those listed on the invitation attend.”
Use an RSVP card message – “We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor.”
These small touches will help avoid confusion and extra guests.
How to Handle Late RSVPs
There will always be guests who forget to RSVP. When this happens, don’t be afraid to follow up!
Call or text them as soon as the RSVP deadline passes.
Keep it casual: “Hey [guest’s name], just checking in to see if you’ll be able to make it to our wedding! We’d love to have you there.”
If they don’t respond within a few days, assume they’re not attending and finalize your headcount.
Being proactive will save you from last-minute seating chart stress.
Roselyn Collection
Final Thoughts
Creating your wedding guest list doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By setting clear guidelines and communicating thoughtfully, you can put together a list that reflects the celebration you envision.
With these tips, you’re well on your way to turning your guest list into your best list! Need more wedding planning advice? Check out the posts below for more tips on designing your dream wedding.
Love what you’re reading? Get our free guide, Wedding Invitations, Simplified. Your thoughtfully designed roadmap to what you need, when to order, and how to make your stationery unforgettable.
